24 February 2008

More Elections! The Cure for the Common Recession

by Freddy Tran Nager, Founder of Atomic Tango LLC + American Who Views Democracy As A Great Investment…

Word came out that erstwhile Presidential candidate Mitt Romney spent $42.3 million of his own money on his failed campaign. My thought? Cool — it couldn’t have come at a better time, what with the economy looking like something my cat coughed up…

Think of all the people that Romney’s money employed, all the printing presses it kept busy, all the advertising-starved media outlets it lubricated, and — here’s where my special interest comes in — all the communications consultants and ad agencies it enriched.

Note: that doesn’t count the $55.5 million of other Republican money that Romney spent, or the dollars spent by the other Presidential, Senatorial or Congressional candidates. Talk about your wealth redistribution! Instead of having that money wasting away in hedge funds or creating real estate crises in Key West, it went to work.

To be bipartisan here, let’s look at what Hillary Clinton recently spent: $18,000 on pizza and $1,885 on Dunkin’ Donuts in one year — I hope her health plan includes programs against obesity — and, my favorite part, $266,000 to her communications consultant Howard Wolfson for one month. That’s not a typo: that’s two-hundred-and-sixty-six thousand dollars for one month!

My fellow Americans, I have a dream, and that’s to someday be a communications consultant to a Presidential candidate. Hell, I couldn’t do any worse than Wolfson has.

And this leads me to conclude that, if we want to encourage more spending by the rich in America, forget the wasteful tax rebates — have more elections! We should change the terms of Senators from 6 years to 4 years (I’m sure the people of Connecticut would love a second crack at that turncoat Joe “I Love Waterboarding!” Lieberman), and force a recall election for any candidate who reneges on campaign promises (which would be pretty much all of them).

I’m sure we could boost California’s economy just by making Arnold run again. With elementary schools closing and prisoners being let out early because of California’s budget crisis, I’m sure Arnold will have a lot of explaining to do, one nice expensive 30-second commercial at a time.

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Freddy is the Founder & Creative Strategist of Atomic Tango. He also teaches graduate-level marketing communication courses at the University of Southern California (go Trojans!), shoots pool somewhat adequately, and herds cats. Freddy received his BA from Harvard and his MBA from USC.

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