What Do You Mean “Partner”?! The 3 Criteria For Partnerships

How to Tell a Friend from a Faux

by Freddy Tran Nager, Founder of Atomic Tango + Partner To Some Awesome People…

In the animal kingdom, a fish called the remora attaches itself to larger creatures like sharks to eat scraps of their food while enjoying their protection.

In the human kingdom, a creature called the freeloader attaches itself to more established professionals to eat scraps of their business while enjoying their brand equity.

Today, these freeloaders frequently describe themselves as “partners,” which once referred to someone who stood by your side, equal in status and value, dedicated to a shared mission and vision, for better or worse, IPO or asset liquidation. Apparently, “partner” now means anyone who just wants a piece of your pie. Consider these 3 types of partners:

The “Buy Now!” Partner

I regularly receive unsolicited emails from service providers, like staffing firms and marketing list aggregators. They ask if I’d like to “partner” with them by buying — yes, buying — their wares. No sharing here; just give them money. I think Al Capone had partnerships like that.

The “Ooh, You Have Clients!” Partner

Not all faux partners are so crass as to try to sell me anything. Rather, they just want me to share my clients with them. “Dear Freddy, we would love to partner with you. We’re a leading provider of SEO/video-production/growth-hacking/nonfat-decaf-latte-making, and we have no idea how to sell ourselves, but we can help your clients…”

For some reason, I never read beyond that point. Such a shame. Who knows what golden business opportunities I’m missing.

By the way, you might have heard of one these vendors: Google, which actually calls the unpaid independent professionals who push their products Partners. Now, I use many Google services, but I doubt that I could count on them to provide support. “Hey, Google, think you could pay half my rent while I run around promoting Adwords? Hello? Google? You there?”

Oh how we love our unpaid sales force…

The “Be Our Pimp!” Partner

On the same warped wavelength I find other agencies and consultants who claim they love what I do and would love to partner with me. (So much love.) Now I strongly endorse small agency collaboration, since that can help us little guys compete against the giant agencies, while complementing each other’s skills.

But with faux partners, as soon as I start discussing a collaborative project we could co-create, or a prospective client we could jointly pitch, out comes their definition of “partnership”:

“Yeah… uh, that sounds great, but you know, we’re, like, really strapped for time and cash right now, so if you could just, you know, bring us some deals, we’d be happy to pay you a finder’s fee…”

Ah, yes, that’s why I started my company: to be a commission-only sales rep for another one. Be still my beating heart.

Where It All Started: Damn Management Consultants

The friendly noun “partner” mutated into a deceptive verb when management consultants started telling their clients that they’re “partnering” with them, instead of simply selling them formulaic advice. The intimation was that the consultants weren’t just hit-and-run hacks who would perpetrate a standard PowerPoint presentation, collect a paycheck, then leave. Rather, they would work “side by side with you” to make sure that their advice was “customized to your needs” so that it would have a “positive impact on your bottom line” because after all “your success is our success.”

Whenever I hear anything like that, I picture the sleazy guy in an L.A. bar approaching some naïve actress and saying, “Hey baby, I’m a producer. I can make you a star! Of course, we’ll have to get to know each other really closely first…”

Advertising Gets In On It — And How That Backfires

The “partnering” theme spread to advertising, with agencies no longer satisfied with just pitching great work. Of course, calling clients “partners” makes them believe they’re allowed in the kitchen to tell the cooks (the agency’s creatives) how to do their jobs. That never ends well. Been there, fled that.

On the flip side, some clients hate the term. I once worked on a pitch for another agency when our account exec told the prospective client, “We’ll partner with you—”

The prospect interrupted in a tone that gave us freezer burn: “What do you mean ‘partner’?! You want equity in my business?!” The account exec stammered an explanation. Of course, we didn’t land the account. Once a prospect feels they’re being jerked around, they stop listening and start visualizing the sharks they can feed us to.

3 Criteria To Identify True Partners

With a true partner, you share responsibilities, risks, and if fate has it, rewards. It’s a collaboration between equals based on mutual respect.

For example, I’ve collaborated with an independent art director for many years. We maintain separate practices, yet he’ll help me with design and I’ll help him with strategy. Together we pitch prospective clients in hopes of splitting a nice catch. We strive for balance, and that’s made for a true partnership.

You might be thinking, “Well, duh, Freddy. Everyone knows that partners should have equal footing. The question is, how do I tell whether someone is a friend or a faux?”

First, make sure the “partner” isn’t just trying to sell you something, get access to your clients, or have you sell for them. Then, obviously, look for desirable personality traits, like honesty, kindness, diligence, and the lack of bodies buried in their yard. Once you find a fit on those qualities, critically evaluate these 3 attributes:

• TALENT: Whatever your future partner claims to do (write, design, direct, cook, sew, brew, etc.), give their work a deep critical evaluation — and don’t trust just yourself. Request assessment by experienced professionals in the claimed area of expertise. In other words, if a programmer is asking to partner with you, hire another programmer to evaluate their work. Good partnerships warrant an investment before the agreement is signed.
• CONNECTIONS: In client-service industries, who you know can make the difference between spending your career as a brilliant starving artist and becoming a multimillionaire media mogul. Your partner should know truly influential people on a first-name basis, and won’t hesitate to call in favors. And in this social media error era, beware of those who boast a massive network — like the LinkedIn Open Networkers (“LiONs”) — but have zero pull with it. They’re what we call a TWOT (“Total Waste Of Time”).
• MONEY: As much as we hope that talent and hard work suffice for success, business growth usually requires a lot of cold hard dinero to provide the critical support, like an impressive office, the latest technology, skilled help, and drinks and dinner with prospects. If your partner has no talent or connections, they should at least have deep pockets.

Critical note:
In a true partnership, the financial partner does NOT own everything.
Your talent and labor are worth just as much as capital.

Your future partner could have all 3 attributes, or just 1. Indeed, if you can find someone with 2 out of 3, get ’em under contract ASAP. (And contracts are essential, particularly among the closest of friends.) And if they have all 3? Consider marrying them.

Case Study: The Dead-End Animator 

I developed these 3 criteria years ago when I worked primarily as a freelance writer. I came across an ad from an animation company seeking a screenwriter for a cartoon about a secret agent cat. Since I love cats, cartoons, and 007, and had taken too many screenwriting classes, my synapses started firing, my heart started thumping, and my imagination started working. I emailed a response that detailed my professional creative background and obsession with felines and James Bond flicks. The company owner responded, asking for a sample script based on a teaser video they had created. Normally, I refuse to do spec work (“spec” being a four-letter version of “exploitation and theft”), but the video had strong production values. So I wrote a short script and dashed it off, and the next day the owner invited me to a lunch meeting.

I put on a nice shirt and ironed jeans, and headed to the restaurant. And there I met the guy, who showed up in shorts, flip-flops, and a worn backpack. I should have left, but ever the optimist, I engaged.

First thing he wanted to know was who I knew in the entertainment industry. I mentioned a few names and he wrote them down using a cheap pen and a scrap of paper.

Note to self: this guy has no contacts.

Then he started telling me about his ideas, which consisted mostly of gross-out humor and action-film clichés, and that he’d want to “partner” with me on the writing.

Note to self: this guy has no talent.

I asked him about his company, and he confessed that it was just him, and that he had hired another firm to create the teaser video. I went ahead and asked about salary, and he mentioned that I would certainly get paid… once the project was sold. In the meantime, he could pay me $500.

Note to self: this guy has no money.

And, of course, he didn’t pay for lunch.

So this was just another self-described producer in a bar, and I was the naïve actress. Fortunately, I was born a skeptic and critic, so I didn’t waste another minute with that guy. I just blamed myself for not having ferreted all this out before we met.

Now don’t get me wrong: I truly endorse partnering… with the right person or company. You just need to know the difference between friends and freeloaders. Hint: If they use the word “partner” before they even know you, run the other way.