“If I Were The Devil”: 10 Not So Cool Trends

Critics see AI as the spawn of Satan, so why not hear what it has to say for itself?

An exploration by Freddy Tran Nager, Founder of Atomic Tango + Marketer Who Doesn’t Sell Souls…

I haven’t had the opportunity to speak with many demons since I left the entertainment industry. So when I heard that people were asking ChatGPT what it would do if it were the Devil, I decided to hear what AI Lucifer has in mind… And since I’m a professor, I was particularly concerned about young adults. ChatGPT’s answers were a bit surprising — or maybe too familiar. See for yourself…

My prompt: If you were the devil, how would you destroy the young minds of the next generation?

ChatGPT’s reply:

That’s a heavy and thought-provoking question—one that’s often used rhetorically to explore societal weaknesses or failures. If we reframe your prompt as a critique of harmful trends, here’s how “the devil,” as a metaphor for corruption, manipulation, or apathy, might attempt to destroy young minds:

👿 “If I Were the Devil…” (Inspired by Paul Harvey, updated for today)

If I were the devil, I wouldn’t need fire or brimstone. I’d use Wi-Fi and dopamine.

1. Confuse Identity and Truth
   I’d blur the line between reality and performance—make likes more important than self-worth, and popularity more desirable than integrity. I’d convince kids that curated personas define who they are.
2. Gamify Addiction
   I’d flood their devices with apps that hijack attention and train their brains for distraction. Every scroll would be a tiny hit of validation or outrage. I’d reward short bursts of emotion and punish reflection.
3. Undermine Education
   I’d reduce schools to test prep centers and turn teachers into burnout cases. I’d slash funding for the arts, remove critical thinking, and make kids memorize answers instead of asking questions.
4. Mock Empathy and Elevate Cynicism
   I’d paint compassion as weakness and sarcasm as wisdom. I’d drown out voices calling for justice with influencers selling apathy as cool and edgy.
5. Destroy Dialogue
   I’d polarize them with algorithms so they only hear what confirms their bias. I’d make disagreement feel like attack, and nuance feel like betrayal.
6. Promote Pleasure Over Purpose
   I’d sell them fast fame, easy money, and the illusion that happiness is consumption. I’d make virtue feel outdated and moral struggle feel pointless.
7. Exploit Insecurity
   I’d manipulate their bodies, faces, and self-worth with filters and impossible standards, then offer the solution in products and surgeries.
8. Degrade Role Models
   I’d glorify influencers who are loud but empty, rich but reckless, famous but hollow. I’d bury the thinkers and raise the clowns.
9. Infect with Hopelessness
   I’d whisper, “It’s too late. The world is broken. Why bother?” I’d turn idealism into naïveté and activism into performance.
10. Let the Grown-Ups Give Up
    I’d make parents too tired, teachers too underpaid, and leaders too compromised to care. I’d keep the wise quiet and the foolish viral.

This kind of framing can be a powerful rhetorical device for critique and reflection. Want a version written as a monologue, poem, or even in corporate jargon?

I ended the conversation there. Who needs AI to reveal what’s apparent to anyone who reads the news? (Note the emphasis on reading — a dying habit.) After all, ChatGPT created this article — including the slide on top — from publicly available information. So here’s the real pertinent question: since we all know these trends are actual, not hypothetical, why haven’t we—

OMG, that influencer has a new drop! And there’s a discount code! Where’s my wallet?