Alumnus? Alumni? Alums? A Quick Guide For College Grads

by Freddy Tran Nager, Founder of Atomic Tango + Alumnus of Two Universities…

Here’s a toast to all the university students about to graduate.

And here’s a little tip…

Now that you’ve successfully completed your academic adventure, you might be wondering, what should you call yourself? (You’re probably not wondering that, but please play along anyway.) And while we’re at it, what’s wrong with the above image?

Here’s the scoop:

ALUMNUS: Latin word for a graduate of a particular school. Technically, this refers to a male graduate. That said, if you’re a woman, go ahead and use it. But if you’re the type who likes to adhere to classical tradition…

ALUMNA: The Latin term for a female graduate. I’m debating whether this gendered term offends women today, but feel free to use it to describe yourself. Now, if you want to eliminate gender from the equation, we Americans excel at language butchery…

ALUM: Degendered and increasingly used… but it sure sounds awkward, doesn’t it? That’s politically correct American English for you! Now, let’s get to the plurals…

ALUMNI: Latin for multiple graduates of any gender. Consequently, that “alumni” license plate frame only applies if two or more grads of the same school are in that car (or, at least, own it). So, if the car belongs to only you, and you’re the only graduate of that school currently inside it, then you’re violating the laws of grammar, and that means you could get pulled over by the grammar police (I have my tickets ready). As for a T-shirt or sweater that says “alumni”? Just don’t do it. Really, don’t. That merely tells onlookers that you’re semi-literate or have multiple personalities. Now, what if you are a woman cruising around with your collegiate sisters?

ALUMNAE: Latin again. You won’t see or hear this term in many places, except perhaps at a sorority reunion, but it sure sounds nicer than the degendered alternative…

ALUMS: Ugh, just the sound of it makes me cringe. Just say it: “alums.” Not poetic or evocative. And since “alumni” refers to both men and women, it’s completely unnecessary… but lack of necessity has never stopped American language violators (the same people who turned “cringe” into an adjective and created the mutant word “deliverables”).

All this said, at the end of the day, it’s your degree … and your reputation … so select the term that makes you feel most comfortable. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t venture out into the real world without one last bit of esoteric knowledge. That accomplished…

CON-GRADUATIONS, ALUMNI!