Your Single So Am I

17 December 2011

Fashion Real: Fashion Genius / You’re Only as Smart as You’re Dressed

by Raegan Thurlow, Part-Time Fashionista…

Teenagers have a reputation for a lot of LOL but not a whole lot of IQ. But what if it’s all a conspiracy? What if the world of fashion is setting up the youth to take the fall? Fashion Real investigates…

Exhibit A: Wet Seal Illiteracy

For some ungodly reason that “Your Single So Am I” top completely eludes me, the general population doesn’t seem to know the difference between “your” and “you’re”. While embarrassing in Facebook posts, this faux pas is completely unacceptable when we’re talking about printed clothing.

Now Wet Seal, I don’t mean to be a wet blanket, but it may be time to say “no” to innuendos and “yes” to hitting the books. It’s one thing to promote clothing for teenage girls that would be better suited for a … um … lady of the night. It’s quite another to sell idiot-wear to the text-addicted youth. Can I get an OMG?!

[Freddy’s note: I’m guessing Wet Seal did this on purpose for the publicity and SEO-enhancing backlinks. But that’s just me hoping people are being strategic and not MWI (marketing while illiterate).]

Exhibit B: Old Navy Techno Hoodies

Exhibit B: Mark Zuckerberg is reportedly so excited he’s buying the entire production run.

Just as the invention of Bluetooth has made it hard to distinguish between crazy people who talk to themselves and savvy business people who talk on their phone via a tiny earbud, the “Techno Hoodie” has arrived and is causing further confusion, re: insane people VS sane people. There is no confusion however about whether this is something you should be caught dead wearing.

The iPhone comes with headphones long enough to reach from your pocket to your ears. And it doesn’t come with an ill-fitting sweatshirt. Just another example of why Apple is the brand to be while Old Navy is the armpit of Gap Inc.

Exhibit C: American Apparel “Soft” Porn

American Apparel cartoon ads

What’s the big idea? Not sure if there is one. Click through for the NSFW version and you tell us.

American Apparel, you’ve been selling sleaze and passing it off as “gymnast from the 80s,” but we’re not buying it anymore (pun intended – sales are down big-time. I’m guessing your customers got tired of being referred to as “The Captains of Cameltoe”).

And as if the gold lamé extravaganza wasn’t bad enough, American Apparel is now showcasing cartoon porn?! Welcome back, Jessica Rabbit, you haven’t aged a bit. MTV’s Skins has been feeling the heat (and the disappearance of advertisers) – does American Apparel really think they’ve found a clever way to fool the public into thinking that it’s acceptable to have our teens dressing for the set of Boogie Nights?

These cases of “questionable clothing choices for the youth” clearly reveal that Miley Cyrus isn’t the only corrupter of today’s teens. Come on now, clothing retailers, your embarrassing yourself.

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By day, Raegan Thurlow works as a mild-mannered tech executive. At night, she dons a 100% cashmere cape and becomes a fashion writer looking to rip into trends for a living.

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