How About The “How”? A Simple Request For Product Marketers

By Freddy Tran Nager, Founder Of Atomic Tango + Man Who Has Cursed At Furniture; featured photo by Dionysage…

Two common words used together strike fear into my heart:

“ASSEMBLY REQUIRED”

Then there’s the four-letter word that makes me utter other four-letter words:

“IKEA”

If you’re like me, you’ve been there, suffered that: you buy a piece of furniture, a fancy new gadget, even some software that’s supposed to simplify and improve your life. Yet as soon as you open the packaging, turn it on, or try to install it, you realize you’ve been tricked and trapped into hours and hours of cruel-and-unusual torment just trying to build the thing or simply make it work.

With any luck, your product comes with instructions. But as luck would have it, they’re IKEA-style instructions. Meaning they’re merely black-and-white 2D illustrations of 3D objects that look alike, without any words to, you know, explain things.

Written explanations. What a concept.

Even if the instructions do include explanations, they’re likely concocted by an engineering intern who can barely write English (even though he’s a third-generation Bostonian) and who got cut off in traffic by a BMW with the license plate SUX2BU which made him spill his extra-hot Venti Frappuccino all over his light-grey khakis and now he wants revenge on the entire consumerist race.

Or something like that.

But there’s a chance your product doesn’t include instructions. Whatever Shenzhen sweatshop slapped the pieces into a package for pennies of profit just couldn’t bother or afford to write anything helpful. After all, they’ve built a quintillion of these things, and assembling them comes naturally to their laborers, so what’s your problem, lazy American?

Just last night I tried to assemble an art easel (not IKEA), which came in a dozen unidentifiable pieces with, of course, no instructions. Since I’m a professional Internets dude, I Googled the instructions: no luck, of course, from either the retailer or the manufacturer. So I tried to build it based on pictures of similar easels found online, which I’ve successfully done with other products. But last night’s Frankenstein creation looked like popsicle stick art made by adolescent spider monkeys with A.D.D. and the caffeine shakes — but nowhere near as sturdy. So I disassembled it, drank a beer, and added “return P.O.S.” on my already endless to-do list.

Here’s my question: since everyone now carries a miniature video studio in their pocket, any manufacturer should just record their people assembling the product themselves. The videos don’t need CGI or Hollywood production values; they just need to show us HOW to do the job. After all, “how to” videos are incredibly popular on YouTube. So why aren’t manufacturers providing value to their customers with helpful videos instead of trying to go “viral” with tangentially related commercials starring cats?

Indeed, making a video would probably take less effort than drawing one of those black-and-white illustrations of 3D objects that look alike. You listening, IKEA? Place an instructional video for every product on the same web page where the product is hyped. Simple. Here, I’ll put this in a language manufacturers will understand:

And if you need help, no problem — just do this:

I’ll even give you a special deal. You just have to help me build some #$%#&#$%! furniture first.