Suddenly Everyone Is Starbucks: False Equivalencies Are The New Black (Coffee)

by Freddy Tran Nager, Founder of Atomic Tango + Consumer Of Both Digital Media And Coffee In Vast Quantities…

I used to work in a corporate office, and every day I would witness the Great Migration. At about 3pm, a small herd of employees would gather and take the elevator to the Starbucks in the lobby. Once inside the temple of caffeinated holiness, they would queue up, issue arcane orders (“half-decaf extra hot with steamed soy and a shot of espresso”), pay, chat while waiting, then return to their desks, their prized conquests in their hands.

All this despite the fact that our company break room included pots of Starbucks coffee. Free. And these employees weren’t execs with company credit cards, so their daily fix added up to a sizable annual expense (250 trips x $5/each = $1250).

So why do it? I’ll explain in a sec, but first…

Somewhere In Digital Media America…

A tech startup is comparing the price of its app/download/subscription to the cost of a Starbucks latte — and you’ll get so much more for your money!

In meetings, they will lament that consumers are paying $5 for a fleeting cup o’ coffee instead of a month’s worth of awesome digital pleasures.

You See The Problem Here…

What’s a digital product got to do with a caffeinated liquid?

It’s the classic comparison of apples with oranges. Or, as we academics pretentiously say, a “false equivalence.” The two products are too different to compare.

The stubborn marketers will respond by saying that, of course, digital media and coffee absolutely differ on a molecular level, but both offer stimulation and, thus, serve the same need.

Not exactly.

The True Value Of A Starbucks Run…

It isn’t the coffee, it’s the trip.

For the office workers, the Starbucks run provides much more than a caffeine kick. It serves as the cigarette break for a generation that mostly doesn’t smoke but still needs to alleviate the duress and drudgery of the daily grind. Even if they have time for just a grab and go, that’s a brief breather from the pressure cooker. It also provides an opportunity to socially bond with fellow serfs, and gossip about the company far from executive ears.

Call it venting with a venti.

The physical visit to the holy land also psychosomatically enhances the overall stimulative effect of the coffee. When I asked one of the excursionists why she didn’t just score free Starbucks in the office kitchen, she replied that a latte direct from the shop seems stronger and tastier.

That might sound hyperbolic, but until you’ve endured the same 8-hour routine 5 days in a row 50 weeks per year, you can’t appreciate the total impact. These runs enable office drones to make it to the end of their workdays. It’s not just pleasure — it’s survival and sanity.

What Digital Media Provides All That?

A video game or a short video might offer you an escape, but you’re still sitting at your desk staring at a screen, and we 21st century workers already spend too many hours doing that.

Even worse, social media causes eye and soul fatigue, if not complete madness.

So Starbucks provides a real physical and mental relief that enables most people to survive their jobs, schools, families, and existence in general. And that’s why they’re more likely to fork out $5/day for their coffee fix than $5/month for some digital media diversion.

Other Examples Of Unspoken Value In America…

• Young people will cheap out on groceries (“instant ramen is one of the four food groups, right?”) but splurge on a music fest out of town. That trip makes their day-to-day sacrifices worthwhile.
• Older adults will forgo movie theaters (“$15 a ticket? Outrageous!”) but spend more on a single drink at a bar (“I need my social life”).
• Middle-aged guys will plunge into debt to buy a sports car, because a midlife crisis can’t be cured by a relatively affordable Prius.

The Key Takeaway…

Marketers should never make assumptions about customer “needs.” Before comparing any two products, you should dive into WHY people buy them, and experience them for yourself. There may be far more value than meets the eye — or the palate.

And, by the way, make mine a tall iced Americano with two shots.