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Entries Tagged as 'Dan Neil'

Asendin For Sale

July 19th, 2009 · 1 Comment · Media Review

Asendin For Sale, by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Asendin pharmacy, Atomic Tango LLC

[caption id="attachment_2280" align="alignright" width="220" caption=""I write business books for a living. Order Asendin from mexican pharmacy, What do you do?""]"I write business books for a living. What do you do?"[/caption]

I'm pissed. I just read one of the dullest business books ever -- and I've read some pretty awful ones, order Asendin, including a few that I think are actually alien invasion plans written in code. You know, like anything written by economist N, Asendin For Sale. Online buy Asendin without a prescription, Gregory Mankiw. He's the guy who advised Bush on the economy, and reading one of his books is like chewing a sheet of tin foil, where can i buy Asendin online. Mankiw's baffling prose and Earth-inappropriate ideas lead me to suspect that he's really a Klingon. Buy Asendin from canada, Though I'm just guessing.

The book I read last night that set me off was called "Strategic Business Forecasting" by Ronald Sugar and Simon Ramo Asendin For Sale, . Now why would I read anything like that if not on assignment or being threatened with waterboarding. Because the damn reviewer said it was witty.., online buying Asendin.

In an L.A. Where can i buy cheapest Asendin online, Times article entitled "'Strategic Business Forecasting' is Wittier than Its Title," reviewer Peter Pae claims, "Much of Ramo's witty writing style is intact, with Sugar providing detailed analysis, Asendin For Sale. Ramo became legendary for capsulizing complex ideas into wry witticism."

Uh, no, buy Asendin without prescription.

I didn't find a trace of wry wit in this book. Asendin samples, Indeed, "SBF" is so dry, I'm using it as a dehumidifier, buy cheap Asendin. The first half describes how to predict the future with an approach that's essentially educated guessing. Asendin For Sale, The second half consists of the authors' predictions, and reads like a collection of undergraduate essays based on Wikipedia articles. Order Asendin no prescription, Uh, Peter, did you actually read this book, Asendin over the counter. Really, Asendin price, now, fess up -- did you.

Now, buy cheap Asendin no rx, I might not have minded "SBF" so much if:


  1. I had not expected business insights with a heady dose of levity, Where can i order Asendin without prescription, like the choice treats cooked up by my idol Dan Neil (also of the L.A. Times); and

  2. It had it not cost me $23 and two hours of my time. For that much time and money, I could have gone to see "Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen" and learned how to make hundreds of millions of dollars from a movie based on toys fighting, Asendin For Sale. (Two words: Megan + Fox.)


I needed an antidote, buy Asendin online cod.

[caption id="attachment_2281" align="alignleft" width="204" caption="The antidote to the boring business book."]The antidote to the boring business book.[/caption]

So I reached to my bookshelf and pulled down my prized hardcover copy of "Syrup" by Max Barry, Asendin samples, which was written ten years ago and remains the best novel about marketing ever. Yes, a romantic comedy about marketing, rx free Asendin. It could only appeal to a geek like me, Asendin pharmacy, right. Asendin For Sale, Well, "Syrup" has also attracted an international readership, and is rumored to be coming out as a movie. And that's because it's actually witty -- hey, Peter, where can i find Asendin online, you might want to read it to learn what "wit" looks like. Order Asendin from mexican pharmacy, "Syrup" centers on a young guy in L.A. who wants to be a millionaire through brilliant marketing ideas, including a new brand of Coca-Cola called "Fukk." (Hence, buy Asendin without prescription, the title.) "Syrup" also contains my favorite definition of marketing:

"Marketing is the biggest industry in the world, Buy cheap Asendin no rx, and it's invisible. It's the planet's largest religion, but the billions who worship it don't know it, buy Asendin online no prescription. It's vast, insidious and completely corrupt, Asendin For Sale. Marketing is like L.A. Buy Asendin without a prescription, It's like a gorgeous, brainless model in L.A. A gorgeous, where can i order Asendin without prescription, brainless model on cocaine having sex drinking Perrier in L.A."

I first read that as a young guy in L.A. Australia, uk, us, usa, canada, mexico, india, craiglist, ebay, working in marketing while surrounded by gorgeous, brainless models. Asendin For Sale, Well, while wishing I was surrounded by gorgeous, brainless models.

So maybe the book only works for me, Asendin over the counter. And it still does, Purchase Asendin online no prescription, ten years later. And it certainly works wonders after enduring such witticisms as this from page 108 of "Strategic Business Forecasting":

"Having predicted the range, we then can examine the possible consequences to the future of our own particular activity at each limit with confidence that we probably have covered the situation, certainly not completely, or maybe not even adequately, but at least somewhat usefully. If either of the two limits were to occur and if we had earlier concluded that we could not survive with one, or worse, with either, then the forecasting process already will have been of some help to us in our management duties because we might have acted earlier to better the future as a result of our prediction attempts."

Damn Klingons.

***

Related Article: Ivory Towers vs Empty Calories: The Best and Worst of Business Publishing.

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Mefenorex For Sale

June 29th, 2009 · No Comments · Random Observations

Mefenorex For Sale, by Freddy J. Nager, Order Mefenorex from mexican pharmacy, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

[caption id="attachment_2099" align="alignleft" width="223" caption=""My darling, I may be a lowly postal employee, Mefenorex for sale, but I do have government-run health insurance..." "Then shut up and kiss me, Mefenorex from canadian pharmacy, you fool!""]"My darling, I may be a lowly postal employee, but I do have government-run health insurance..." "Then shut up and kiss me, <b>buy cheap Mefenorex</b>, you fool!"[/caption]

"Words are the worst thing ever. Mefenorex samples, I'd prefer a drunkard at the bar touching your bum to someone who says 'Your smile flies like a butterfly.'" -- Grandmother Donna Rosa in "Il Postino"

Twenty-five years ago, the film "Il Postino" captivated American audiences with its sun-drenched tale of Italian romance, the collision of poetry and politics, where can i find Mefenorex online, and the seductive powers of metaphors. Buy Mefenorex online no prescription, Yes, metaphors -- or as the lead character Mario exclaims, "Metafore!"

Then we come to this side of the Atlantic, order Mefenorex, where we Yanks cast subtlety aside, Mefenorex price, and our metaphors and similes take a much more colorful turn...

For example, as a fan of noir fiction, Mefenorex pharmacy, I like my figurative language contrived and a little purple, Purchase Mefenorex online no prescription, like this Raymond Chandler quote that I use to kick-off my blog:

"Common sense is the little man in a gray suit who never makes a mistake at addition, but it's always someone else's money he's adding up."
I also dig Tom Robbins' playful approach to the lingo. Here's how he describes banana Popsicles in his novel Half Asleep in Frog Pajamas:
"Melting, they will perfume the neighborhood like one giant Harry Belafonte belch..."
Then there's my favorite automotive/advertising writer Dan Neil:
"...everything Chrysler makes besides the Ram truck constitutes a rainbow of awful."
Take that, Italianos. We dare you to be that metaphoric and witty at the same time, buy Mefenorex without prescription.

Then It Gets Ugly: The Health Care Debate

Unfortunately, Where can i buy cheapest Mefenorex online, our politicians also like to make contrived comparisons. Here's Congressman John Boehner:

"If you like going to the DMV and think they do a great job or you like going to the post office and think it's the most efficient thing you've run into, then you'll love the government run health care system."
(BTW, buy generic Mefenorex, Jon Stewart countered, Buy Mefenorex without a prescription, "If you like the military protecting the country or doctors helping veterans, you'll love this new government plan. Mefenorex For Sale, By the way, why are you bagging on the post office. For forty-four cents, buy Mefenorex online cod, someone comes to your house, Australia, uk, us, usa, canada, mexico, india, craiglist, ebay, picks up some piece of crap you wrote and takes it to Wyoming on a plane...")

Boehner's fellow Neanderthal, Sen. Mitch McConnell, where can i order Mefenorex without prescription, also pulled the DMV trick, Buy Mefenorex no prescription, saying that Americans...

"don't want the people who brought us the Department of Motor Vehicles making life-and-death decisions for them."
Well, first of all, order Mefenorex no prescription, Mitch, Rx free Mefenorex, you don't speak for me. That said, why pick on the DMV, buy cheap Mefenorex no rx. Because they make you wait in line, Mefenorex For Sale. What, Buy generic Mefenorex, you've never had to wait weeks to get a doctor's appointment or sit an hour in a waiting room full of sick people until they call you.

Oh, of course you don't, online buying Mefenorex, because your health coverage is (drum roll please) provided by the government. Where can i buy Mefenorex online, And hey, comrades, as long as you're picking on government-run institutions, Mefenorex price, why not pick on, Where can i find Mefenorex online, oh, say, the fire department, buy cheap Mefenorex. After all, they're actually in the business of saving lives, and are often the first on the scene when someone calls 911 for a health emergency. Mefenorex For Sale, Can you imagine if our health care system were run by the same people who bring you the fire department.

Come to think of it, why not privatize your neighborhood fire departments. Sure, you could put the benevolent loving folks at WellPoint or Health Net in charge. That way, if your houses ever catch fire, they can drop your protection coverage mid-burn because you forgot to mention your pre-existing weeds in your lawn. Or maybe they'll just deny you coverage up front because, well, you once lit a candle on a birthday cake without a fire extinguisher present.

In other words, there are other words, Mefenorex For Sale.

We can sling metaphors and similes back and forth for the rest of eternity. You scare your base with your figures of speech, and I'll scare my base -- well, my two readers -- with my figures. It's all just a framing trick practiced every day by us marketers.

Here's what I suggest: when it comes to something life-or-death like health care, let's stick to the facts and leave the colorful descriptions to Italian lovers and the Governor of South Carolina...

"I love the curves of your hips, the erotic beauty of you holding yourself (or two magnificent parts of yourself) in the faded glow of night’s light..."
Or maybe just to the Italians.

****

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Viagra For Sale

April 29th, 2009 · No Comments · Media Review

[caption id="attachment_1621" align="alignright" width="132" caption="The perfect wine for your next Harley rally."]The perfect wine for your next Harley rally. Viagra For Sale, [/caption]

Intrigued by the Ed Hardy wines at his local Whole Foods, Pulitzer Prize winning writer Dan Neil performed exploratory surgery on that insatiable branding machine Christian Audigier. The resulting L.A, online buy Viagra without a prescription. Where can i order Viagra without prescription, Times article is a brilliant and funny study of branding gone wild...

Neil, buy generic Viagra, Purchase Viagra online no prescription, who has a master's degree in English, writes about advertising, buy Viagra without prescription, Buy cheap Viagra no rx, marketing and automobiles for the L.A. Times, Viagra over the counter. So, yes, I'm a massive fan, Viagra For Sale. Buy Viagra without a prescription, How can you not dig a journalist who comes up with descriptions like these.

"Wine is a cultivated taste of a delicately cultivated product, purchase Viagra online, Where can i find Viagra online, a source of savored satisfaction and nuance, a living liquid that rewards reflection and restraint, where can i order Viagra without prescription. Order Viagra, The haute-trash Ed Hardy brand -- as near as I can parse it -- represents getting wasted in Las Vegas and leaving your $50 trucker hat in the cab on the way to the airport."
Yes, business writing that's not boring, buy cheap Viagra. Purchase Viagra online, Sing it, brother, buy Viagra online cod. Viagra For Sale, Apparently, Neil also shares my distaste for trucker hats, which are the second-worst fashion crime ever perpetrated on the public. Viagra pharmacy, (The first being Crocs, which are the aesthetic equivalent of wearing children's beach toys on your feet.)

I first wrote about Neil last year in "Dan Neil: Your Automotive Word Slut" (which probably got more traffic from people searching "slut" than "Dan Neil"), Viagra samples. Viagra over the counter, If Neil keeps writing articles like this, I'll just have to keep on hyping him, order Viagra from mexican pharmacy. Online buying Viagra, Christian Audigier. Not so much, rx free Viagra. Purchase Viagra online no prescription. Viagra price. Buy cheap Viagra no rx. Order Viagra online c.o.d. Viagra from canadian pharmacy. Order Viagra no prescription. Buy no prescription Viagra online. Where can i find Viagra online. Buy Viagra without a prescription.

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Alprazolam For Sale

October 24th, 2008 · No Comments · How To Tips

Alprazolam For Sale, As a USC Trojan, I have a twisted interest in the Ohio State University football team this season. I was thrilled when my Trojans throttled them earlier this season 35-3, buy Alprazolam online cod, Where can i buy Alprazolam online, but this weekend, I'll be rooting for the Buckeyes as they play Penn State, buy Alprazolam online no prescription. Alprazolam over the counter, (Penn State is ranked higher than USC, and therefore must be vanquished.) Will Ohio State win, order Alprazolam online c.o.d. Alprazolam samples, No idea. But I can make one prediction with 100% certainty.., where can i order Alprazolam without prescription. At least one Ohio State player on TV will call his school "The Ohio State University" -- with an emphasis on the "The." I hear that's the official name of the school, but no one outside of Ohio calls it that, Alprazolam For Sale. Online buying Alprazolam, And I haven't heard players from Penn State or Oregon State or Any Other State pump up a "The" before their school name. It doesn't bother me that they do that -- it's kind of amusing -- but the emphasis implies that there's a copycat school out there calling itself "Ohio State University" and that's pissing off the original, buy generic Alprazolam. Purchase Alprazolam online no prescription, To be fair, I can't explain why schools whose names start with the word "University" automatically get preceded by a "The" -- as in "the University of Southern California" -- but those that start with state names don't, purchase Alprazolam online. Buy Alprazolam without prescription, Also inexplicable: when the University of Southern California is shortened to "USC," the "The" disappears, buy Alprazolam no prescription, Order Alprazolam no prescription, but we still use "The" before both "American Civil Liberties Union" and "ACLU"... Alprazolam For Sale, Ah, you're nodding off. You can tell I'm not obsessed with readership figures when I devote an entire article to a preposition, buy Alprazolam from mexico. Alprazolam for sale, So I'll get to my point...

The reason I bring "The" up in a marketing blog is that it seems to confound companies when it comes to naming their products, where can i buy cheapest Alprazolam online. Buy Alprazolam from canada, As a copywriter at Saatchi & Saatchi, I used to disagree with the power dweebs over at Toyota who insisted on dropping all prepositions in front of car names, buy cheap Alprazolam no rx. They would have hissyfits if you put an "a" or a "the" in front of Camry, Tundra, Corolla and the rest of their lineup, Alprazolam For Sale. Buy cheap Alprazolam no rx, We were expected to talk about their cars as if they were people: "Drive Camry today!" "Check out Tundra!" "Been inside Corolla?" The problem is that no consumers or even salespeople speak that way...

"Hey, purchase Alprazolam online no prescription, Buy Alprazolam from mexico, Bob, what kind of car do you have?""I own Land Cruiser.""Could I interest you in Escalade?"
Speaking that way makes you sound like a unitard or a certain California governor with an Austrian accent, Alprazolam from canadian pharmacy. Buy Alprazolam online cod, Today, while reading another witty car review by the brilliant Dan Neil, online buy Alprazolam without a prescription, Australia, uk, us, usa, canada, mexico, india, craiglist, ebay, I noticed that he uses prepositions before car names. And who's to argue with a Pulitzer Prize winner, order Alprazolam online c.o.d.

So here's one of the rules of naming: Alprazolam For Sale, Unless being bizarre is your objective, go with what sounds natural, otherwise your marketing will clash with real world usage. Coca-Cola is one of the greatest brands in history, and they don't insist on treating their products as people. Buy Alprazolam from canada, (Of course, maybe it's because if someone were to say "give me Coke" at a restaurant, Alprazolam pharmacy, Where can i buy cheapest Alprazolam online, they'd get gang-tackled by a nearby DEA team.)

Imposing odd prepositional rules on the general public is a recipe for confusion.

That said, I'm off to drive Maxima to the Starbucks to pick up Venti Latte. Go the Buckeyes.

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Dan Neil: Your Automotive Word Slut

April 16th, 2008 · 1 Comment · Media News

by Freddy J. Nager, Found of Atomic Tango + Former Automotive Ad Writer If you lust after cars like I do, then the writer you need to read — yes, NEED — is Dan Neil of the L.A. Times. Even if you don’t care about cars, you’ll love his column, “Rumble Seat.” As a former [...]

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