[caption id="attachment_1437" align="alignright" width="179" caption="The Great American Role Model 2.o"][/caption]

Klonopin For Sale, by Freddy J. Nager, Founder of Atomic Tango & Self-Marketing Instructor

Recently in Ohio, 700 people applied for a job as a janitor.  But that shouldn’t really surprise us these days: the janitorial gig paid $16/hour and came with -- get this -- benefits. Plus, janitorial work beats the hell out of coaching for the Oakland Raiders...

Now this feeding frenzy isn’t entirely the economy’s fault. Yes, Online buying Klonopin, we should all flip the proverbial finger at the CEO’s of AIG, Countrywide and other bloathogs who ate everyone’s lunch for the past eight years. But we should also blame the usual scapegoat for all that’s messed up in the universe: the Internet, Klonopin For Sale.

That’s right, this dang Internet thingy enables job hunters worldwide to apply to dozens of gigs simultaneously with a few strokes of the keyboard. No more typing resumes one-by-one on 40%-cotton-and-baby-seal-fur paper: it’s now all search, click, send. Ironically, by making job applications easier and less expensive than downloading an episode of “Scrubs, where can i buy cheapest Klonopin online,” the Internet also made getting that job harder than ever. Even low-level positions now receive hundreds, even thousands of applications. Klonopin For Sale, Yet what employer has time to read through mounds of resumes when there’s good Twittering to be done. To save time for more valuable pursuits, executives now assign indentured servants and droids to scan resumes for key words (like “will work for pizza crusts”). In the first round, most resumes warrant a quick glance at best before getting voted off the island. Buy Klonopin no prescription, That’s why the old-fashioned generic resume, with its tired and tedious chronological list of jobs and responsibilities, no longer cuts it. Your 21st century resume needs to be a knockout marketing piece that highlights your strengths and helps you stand out from the crowd. Of course, writing such resumes is fun for us professional marketers who savor any creative opportunity to talk about ourselves, not much fun for everyone else.

So as yet another Atomic Tango public service, I’ve compiled this guide to resume writing based on feedback from recruiters, career coaches, and my decades of experience as both an employer and employee, Klonopin For Sale. I’ve also created a sample resume that you can download. So if you’re ready to hype yourself into the job of your dreams -- or at least one with benefits -- read on...

1, order Klonopin. Tailor your resume to the job and the company.

Think you can send the same resume to everyone. Klonopin For Sale, Think again. And again. And again. No two companies or jobs are alike, even in the same industry, so carefully read the job descriptions and research the companies. In so doing, Online buy Klonopin without a prescription, you might discover the key words an employer is seeking (pay close attention to terms in the job description, like “MBA” and “ability to score Lakers playoff tickets”).

After completing your research, rewrite your resume so that it’s relevant, Klonopin For Sale. For example, if you’re applying for a job in sales and you currently work as a waiter -- ahem -- “hospitality service professional,” mention your ability to “provide one-to-one customer service.” Never assume that employers will immediately connect your experience and expertise to their job openings -- you’re asking them to put effort into thinking about you when they’re obsessed with saving their own jobs. Be explicit.

2. Censor your contact info.

Employers no longer use snail mail to communicate to job applicants, so don’t bother putting your street address on your resume, australia, uk, us, usa, canada, mexico, india, craiglist, ebay. Klonopin For Sale, This protects your privacy and prevents weasels from discriminating against certain neighborhoods. (I once knew an entrepreneur who redlined entire ZIP codes when hiring.) At the most, list your city to prove that you’re local.

The more critical address is your email. Don’t use your current work email address -- that shows you’ve got the judgment of a possum crossing a four-lane highway. Also, don’t use a cute or edgy email address, like “deathboy” or “snugglepuss, Rx free Klonopin, ” unless you’re applying for a job in some insanely creative organization, like an ad agency, fashion magazine or the Supreme Court. I also recommend a permanent email address that employers can contact years later, Klonopin For Sale. You don’t want to miss out on a belated offer because you dumped your annoying Internet Service Provider. (I know, I know, calling an Internet Service Provider “annoying” is redundant.)

Of course, your phone number should appear on your resume -- just be sure to have a “safe” answering message: keep the Marilyn Manson sampling to a minimum... unless, Klonopin price, of course, you’re applying for a job in the music industry, in which case, you need more than resume help.

If you have a relevant website, list its URL along with a one- or two-word description, such as “my business” or “my portfolio.” If you have a profile on LinkedIn, Order Klonopin from mexican pharmacy, Creative Hotlist, or other professional networking website, be sure to list them, too. Klonopin For Sale, However, do NOT list your MySpace or Facebook profiles unless you use them strictly for professional reasons. Those racy spring break photos won’t get you anything but an internship with a U.S. Congressman.

Indeed, before you start applying for jobs, take some virtual Clorox to your social network profiles, where can i buy Klonopin online, blog, YouTube favorites list, and other online proof that you’re a normal human with human interests. Bleach out anything that can be held against you by prospective employers who can’t stand the idea of  employees having lives, opinions or personalities.

And by all means, do NOT include the following on your resume unless they’re germane to the job (like modeling, sports, or the priesthood): your photo, age, gender, race, sexual orientation, height, weight, or religion, Klonopin For Sale. Those could get your resume automatically rejected or invite discrimination. That might sound obvious to Americans, Buy Klonopin from mexico, but not so to people in other cultures. I’ve received foreign resumes that listed such personal info.

Finally, don’t put your Social Security number on your resume. Klonopin For Sale, The odds of an employer stealing your identity are pretty slim; rather, they’ll likely question your judgment for sharing such private info (see “possum” above).

3. Kick start with an executive summary.

Launch your resume with a short, strong executive summary (approximately 60 words or 3 lines of type) that describes your key selling points and objectives. This should be written in the third person, and tailored to the job with key words, Klonopin for sale. Example: “Former U.S. President with Harvard MBA and executive experience now seeks to leverage natural talents in the position of rodeo clown.”

Your executive summary should sound decisive and confident, but also factual and objective, Klonopin For Sale. Don’t bother with vague terms like “ambitious,” “dynamic” and “results-oriented”; rather, use specific descriptors like “published,” “award-winning,” “multilingual,” and “prehensile tail.” But keep it short. Buy Klonopin without a prescription, You’ve got the rest of your resume to tell the whole story.

4. Describe relevant positions only.

In the past, employers wanted to read descriptions of every job you’ve ever had. Klonopin For Sale, That was when they had more openings than applicants, plus training programs to mold raw but talented employees. Today, while digging through resume piles 700 deep, employers want resumes that already scream “perfect fit!” So unless your work experience is extremely limited, don’t describe your irrelevant short-term or part-time jobs. You might even want to bury the irrelevant long-term gigs, Klonopin from canadian pharmacy.

For example, there’s nothing wrong with spending your summer working as a drag queen on a cruise ship, but it doesn’t belong in a resume for, say, a lawyer position. Trying to distort a drag queen job description to fit legal work would only sound silly and disrespectful of the employer. And of drag queens, Klonopin For Sale.

Rather, Klonopin samples, describe in detail only your most significant and relevant jobs. If you wish, you can tack on a chronological list of all of your jobs but without descriptions. Even then, censorship is fine. There’s no law that says you have to list that crappy job you endured before realizing that your boss had the ethics and hygiene of a dishrag. Klonopin For Sale, So you gave two months of your life to the legal department of Enron. Yeah, feel free to omit that.

Finally, buy Klonopin online no prescription, I heard one recruiter say that resumes should include jobs from which you were fired, with an explanation about that firing. IGNORE HIM. COMPLETELY. Remember that your resume is a marketing tool, not a script for VH1’s “Behind The Music.” This tell-all recruiter was just trying to make his job easier: “Ooh, look, this sap got fired for knocking up the boss’s daughter, Online buying Klonopin, and he confessed it on his resume. Well, that’s an easy reject...”

5, Klonopin For Sale. Make sure you accomplish something and aren’t just “responsible.”

Like your executive summary, your professional experience should be third-person, objective and concise. Again, keep sentences short. A resume isn’t an essay, so it should be about as verbose as a comic strip for ten-year-old boys with ADD.

Your job descriptions should focus on accomplishments, buy cheap Klonopin, not responsibilities. Klonopin For Sale, It’s what you did that matters, not what you were supposed to do, so never start any description with “Responsible for...” While you’re at it, use strong verbs like “earned,” “analyzed,” “led,” “directed,” “surpassed,” “managed,” etc.

A particularly limp verb is “assisted.” Even if you were officially an “assistant” who spent eight hours a day fending off coma-inducing tedium, juice up your resume by killing that A-word. So instead of “assisted VP of Marketing in researching target markets,” make “research” the verb: “Researched target markets for VP of Marketing.”

But don’t stop there: you should claim more credit for what gets done in the company. I’m not saying lie; I’m saying talk about the vastness of the business in the context of your work. Example: “Researched target markets for VP of Marketing on 12 campaigns totaling $100 million in media expenditures. Identified the 20% of customers who generate 80% of annual revenue.” Note how I used numbers (12 instead of “twelve”), since numbers pop out in a sea of words, Klonopin For Sale. Buy Klonopin without a prescription, In addition, if possible, drop names of major corporations and celebrities: “Distributed releases to key media targets, including the L.A. Times, CBS News, and Arianna Huffington.” Those names will catch the eye of your resume scanner and make 'em think you might actually be connected and important.

Finally, never hesitate to mention your promotions, Klonopin from canadian pharmacy, such as “promoted to Project Manager after just 6 months.” Tangential note: if you're under 40 and don't have kids and haven’t been promoted in your company after two years, start job hunting. Seriously. Klonopin For Sale, These days, job switching doesn’t look as bad as staying in the same place and never moving up.

6. Emphasize accomplishments in education, too.

Unless you’re a recent college grad or your educational accomplishments are stronger than your work experience, education should follow professional experience on your resume. Buy Klonopin no prescription, Within that section, place the most impressive degrees first. Note that I did not say “most advanced degrees first.” If you received your undergraduate degree at Berkeley and your masters at the Sohcahtoa Correspondence School for the Arts, put Berkeley first.

And forget anything that happened in high school, which is irrelevant on any college grad’s resume, Klonopin For Sale. The only exceptions are truly extraordinary high school accomplishments, like leading your football team to the Texas state championship (and only if you’re applying for a job in Texas).

What deserves hyping are any relevant major academic projects, extracurricular activities, and advanced coursework, purchase Klonopin online. Again, the key word is “relevant”: if I’m hiring a graphic designer, I don't really care that they were Assistant Vice Treasurer of the Model U.N. Club. Klonopin For Sale, Grades and test scores should also be omitted. Rather, simply state Dean’s List, honors, Buy generic Klonopin, or the Latin equivalent, such as magna cum laude.

As your years in the job market increase, your education section should decrease in size. You may even remove your year of graduation to reduce the possibility of age discrimination, though it doesn’t take a mathematician to guesstimate your age from the year of your first job. (Another reason the chronological resume is evil.)

7. Add a personal touch with skills and interests.

The rules of relevance and significance apply here, too, Klonopin For Sale. Don’t list “hobbies” -- they’re all “interests,” and should only include the ones where you have major accomplishments or involvement, order Klonopin from mexican pharmacy. For example, just because you saw a play sometime in the past three years, “theatre” is not a solid interest. However, if you sit on the Board of Directors of a theatre, or had produced a play, then by all means, Buy cheap Klonopin no rx, list theatre.

Be sure to list your charitable activities. Klonopin For Sale, They make you appear trustworthy, and the employer might think your presence in the company will mollify special interest groups.

As for skills, foreign languages are always impressive in linguistically challenged America, but do not list mundane clerical skills, such as your ability to use Microsoft Office -- who can’t use Office these days. Definitely avoid listing skills you do not want to perform, like “answering phones” or “HTML.” Ironically, the lower the skill, where can i order Klonopin without prescription, the greater the prominence it will have on your resume: your PhD or membership in the Directors Guild will be undermined if you mention your typing speed.

8. Save references for later.

Unless Steve Jobs or some other internationally revered bad-ass will endorse you at any time to anyone, do not share your references’ contact info unless requested -- sharing them to everyone would violate their privacy, and the names won’t resonate with most resume scanners. Also, don’t bother with the antiquated line, “References available upon request.” Employers already know that, and white space is more valuable than statements of the obvious, Klonopin For Sale.

9. Make your resume readable.

You’ll find as many kinds of resume formats and layouts as there are people, Buy no prescription Klonopin online, so don’t get hung up on design. The key is to have your resume appear organized with lots of white space to make it easy on the eyes. Employers particularly like wide margins for scribbling notes, since Post-Its cost money. Klonopin For Sale, Stick to a simple legible font -- nothing cute or colorful or cursive or so tiny that it requires squinting. (Be kind to us old people and think minimum 10-point.) Some old-school recruiters insist that a resume should be only one page, but a second or even third page is fine -- even recommended -- if you have more than ten years of significant work experience, or have long lists of relevant accomplishments, such as artistic credits, publications, order Klonopin no prescription, awards or other achievements. Those lists should appear on the subsequent pages, like appendix exhibits in a report.

Finally, save your resume as an Adobe PDF file to ensure it can be read when emailed. Word .doc files are also fine, but NOT the .docx format that Microsoft recently perpetrated on the unsuspecting world.

10, Klonopin For Sale. Buy Klonopin without prescription, Proofread, sit on it, then proofread again.

With hundreds of resumes to evaluate, employers look for any reason to reject one. Typos are a popular reason, even though everyone makes them, because they’re obvious errors requiring no subjective judgment. So proofread your resume carefully, then take a 24-hour break, buy Klonopin from canada. It’s amazing the errors you’ll find, and the changes you’ll want to make, once you’ve had time to clear your mind. Klonopin For Sale, But don’t over edit. Paralysis by analysis strikes individuals as well as companies. Eventually, you’ll just have to take a deep breath, say “that’s good enough,” and let your baby go out on her own...

One other key point to remember: a solid resume is a critical part of the job application process, but it’s not the only part. There are dozens of reasons why you may or may not get a job offer. You might have the perfect resume, but lose out to an applicant who went to the same college as did the CEO, Klonopin For Sale. You might have founded the local feline rescue society, only to have the person reading your resume be a cat hater. Don’t dwell on the reason -- just move onto the next job application. After all, would you want to work for someone who uses such insane criteria to select their employees.

Finally, good luck -- it's rough out there, but if a no-talent bacterium like Glenn Beck can keep finding jobs, there's hope for anyone.

Click Here To Download Sample Resume

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