by Freddy J. Nager, Founder & Fusion Director, Atomic Tango LLC

“Sincerity is everything. If you can fake that, you’ve got it made.” — George Burns

The movement du jour amongst us liberal marketers is “authenticity.” It’s the impassioned belief that companies should be open and honest about who they are and what they stand for — not just because that’s a good thing to do, but because that’s the only way to succeed.

Sounds completely righteous, right? But wait, there’s more…

Authenticity is based on the premise that today’s consumers are too savvy, too jaded and too cynical to buy hype and commercialism anymore. Brands should be genuine, not contrived by ad agencies. They should be based on the true personalities and convictions of their founders and employees. And they should be rooted in the values of the communities they serve.

All nice thoughts, huh? Almost makes you want to break into a hand-holding version of “Kumbaya.” Unfortunately, it’s mostly fantasy and fairy tales.

No, Really, I’m a Liberal

First, let me assure you that I truly do hail from deep left field and am as liberal as MBA’s get. My business school classmates voted me “most likely to be a Marxist.” I then went on to write a satirical pamphlet about business school called “Mas Kapital.” (“Mas” being the Spanish word for “more,” and “Kapital” being the German word for “filthy stinkin’ riches that are MINE ALL MINE.”)

And yet…

Although I’m a self-avowed bleeding-heart tree-hugging cat-rescuing granola-crunching lefty, I’m also a realist about what it takes to succeed in a viciously competitive marketplace. While I love the values that the authenticity movement embraces, it’s fundamentally based on a naïve and idealistic impression of the consumer.

I recently read a Twitter post quoting some authenticity expert. I won’t name him, since I can’t confirm his statements, but the quote read, “Authenticity is crucial to producing higher quality, more valuable content. Consumers can spot the garbage!” This got retweeted by other liberal marketers as if His Holiness Jon Stewart Himself had delivered it as the 11th Commandment.

Ironically, that quote is pure garbage.

I’m a consumer. The people I love are consumers. Indeed, everyone I know is a consumer. I also teach consumer research and analysis. And let me tell you, most of us consumers not only can’t spot garbage, we lap it up. Examples:

• Take the movie “GI Joe.” Critics called it a “gaseous emission,” yet it’s made over $130 million to date.
• For years, professional wrestling was the hottest thing in spectator sports, even though it was actually scripted by former soap opera writers. (I met two of them.)
• MLM’s are a proven waste of time and money, yet millions still flock to them.
• Toyota advertises its Prius (a.k.a. “The Pious”) as good for the environment, when it’s simply less destructive than other cars.
• Fox News, which is as garbage as garbage gets, is the number-one rated “news” network.
• A Texas direct marketing wizard named Karl Rove hoodwinked the working class into voting against their own interests by electing Garbage W. Bush twice.
• Finally, to be bipartisan for just a moment, our recent gubernatorial freak parade of Palin, Spitzer, Blagojevich and Sanford proved that the worst hypocrites can get elected to run entire states — and even be considered for the Presidency.

So consumers can spot the garbage? Really?

It kills me when marketers sit together in ivory towers, sipping $4 decaf non-fat lattes, reinforcing each other’s high-minded theorems and projecting their personal values onto “consumers,” when they can easily discover what people really want by reading the newspaper.

Oh, I forgot. Nobody reads newspapers anymore — they get their news from Twitter. That explains everything.

“You can’t handle the truth!” — Jack Nicholson in “A Few Good Men”

In addition to a naïve misconception of the consumer, authenticity is based on the conviction that the truth sells. Rather, telling the unfiltered truth can plunge an “authentic” company into hot water.

Take the recent example of John Mackey, CEO of Whole Foods. For years, Whole Foods has fostered this image of being socially and environmentally conscious, a true member of the community whose prices cost an arm and an organic leg because, well, good food harvested and traded conscientiously is worth it, right? That translated into a business with a market cap of $4 billion and a devoted base of mostly liberal yuppies. Then, lo, Mackey writes an editorial in the Wall Street Journal in which he rips apart Obama’s healthcare reforms.

The article begins with an inane Margaret Thatcher quote (“The problem with socialism is that eventually you run out of other people’s money”) then devolves into a rich man’s approach to health care, arguing for tax-deductible health savings accounts and making it “easier for individuals to make a voluntary, tax-deductible donation to help the millions of people who have no insurance.” Yes, Mackey’s a tax-phobic idiot who has no concept of what it’s like to be poor, what health procedures cost these days, or how little Americans actually donate to charities, even the ones they really care about.

But here’s the thing: Mackey was being himself and expressing his true beliefs. Isn’t that being “authentic”? He didn’t put up a false progressive “I love poor people so please tax me more” front; he spoke his genuine thoughts — thoughts that didn’t contradict his passion for organic arugula or fair trade coffee. The products at Whole Foods remain the same, and the employee benefits are still some of the best in the country. The only thing that’s changed is that many Whole Food customers finally learned that the guy running their favorite fruit stand harbors bonehead conservative views and has the gall to express them.

For that moment of authenticity, the entire Whole Foods corporation — including its workers, many of them liberals not living high on the free-range hog — is being boycotted by liberal customers. As Mackey discovered, authenticity can be hazardous to your fiscal health.

Yes, Jack, you’re right: in many cases, we can’t handle the truth. Apple fanboys don’t want to know that Apple can be just as corporate and secretive as the “evil empire” called Microsoft. Dodgers fans don’t want to know that their favorite slugger is as much a product of the laboratory as he is of the playing fields. Parents of Miley Cyrus fans don’t want to know that a 16-year-old pop star might have a libido. And Fox News fans just don’t want to know.

Those are all successful enterprises and individuals. None of them is definitively “authentic.”

More often than not, success goes to those who portray the right image — authentic or not — to their target market.

We all know this, even on a personal level. We’ve learned that there are thoughts we dare not utter, no matter how truthful, in a job interview, on a first date, to a police officer, even to our mates and our families. We’re warned to watch what we post on Facebook (or in a blog), no matter how accurately those words and photos reflect who we are, because they could damage our chances of getting into college, getting hired by a great company, or getting elected to political office. (I’m so doomed.)

We even have a term, “TMI” (“Too Much Information”), for a confession that’s too personal or detailed. “Be yourself!” say the platitudinous Polyannas, but make sure no one knows that you’re an atheist, that you smoke pot, that you have sexual fantasies about vegetables, that you listen to Air Supply, that you hate children, that you voted against gay marriage, that you “borrow” office supplies for your home, or that you think your boss looks and acts like a Wookie — and that you’d still like to do him.

TMI, people, TMI!

So if you run a business, I do hope you’ll be open and honest about who you are and what you stand for. And I do encourage you to create a genuine brand based on your personality and convictions, and rooted in the values of the communities you serve. But do all that because they’re good things to do and they make you feel good, and not because some so-called marketing expert tells you that’s the secret to success.

To be successful, you have to be starkly realistic — and that doesn’t always mean being “authentic.”